He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
