if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
