I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
