What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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