Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
