I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
