Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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