I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
