He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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