Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
