I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
