that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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