absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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