I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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