i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
