cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize