Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
