I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
4 words: hood of his car
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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