all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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