Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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