if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize