Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
