At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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