just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize