I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
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I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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