just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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