we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
