who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You took a bar mat shot.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
