you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
