youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
