Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
