Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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