worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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