Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
