Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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