I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
