i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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