at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
