in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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