Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
