he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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