You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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