need another drink. this is the easiest way
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
