Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She told me I should be a condom model.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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