dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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