Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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