THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize