i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
