Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry iHateTaipan hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(360): View more from Washington

Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.

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(602): View more from Arizona

making cat noises will not fix the situation.

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(512): View more from Texas

He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy

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(760): View more from California

She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.

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(519): View more from Ontario

You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard

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(312): View more from Illinois

Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog

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(949): View more from California

I hate that we are older than the real world people now

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(848): View more from New Jersey

Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.

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