I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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