I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
