I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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