I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
this will be a night to untag.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We have so much sex to catch up on
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
