Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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